This place must be the first of its kind in Jaipur to have imported goods that we take for granted elsewhere: Ragu pasta sauce ($5!), German Rye bread ($8!), Boursin Cheese ($10!). Although I generally refuse to pay such ridiculous prices, I did once cave for the bread. Food is basically my last-standing luxury item…

But not so for the other shoppers, among whom I spotted a golden Fendi bag, Dior sunglasses and flashy Fit Flops. The first two could probably feed a whole family for a year. It’s strange to see that upper-class women are going after the same status symbols that Western women are–all the more so, given the extreme poverty and terrible infrastructure, both of which can be seen just outside the shop’s door. That is, if one has eye’s enough to see it.

If only these glasses could help you to see...

Which is exactly what’s lacking–the sensitivity to see what lies around, to be touched by it. If Westerners can be forgiven their callousness because they live in pristine bubbles, wealthy Indians must at least be able to feel a slight twinge of guilt for having so much?

Yet, there is such a lack of compassion and sense of civic duty. I met an NRI who was bragging that his son, an Eton student, has to volunteer as part of his class curriculum–whereas in India, this requirement is sorely lacking. Why is this so, when the numbers of students could do wonders for others in terms of tutoring, caring for the environment, etc. Instead, usually the teens can be found chilling in the coffee shops, driving around in their SUVs, or, like today, shopping.

How to ignite the dying flame of social consciousness amongst the comfortable classes?

Long ago in 2003, I was awarded a Fulbright Teaching Assistantship, but was disappointed by the lack of coordination and support that they offered to the assistants at that time. If only social media had existed then, it would have been so much easier!

A couple years ago, I found out about the Alliance in Jaipur by coincidence–I happened to be at the Jawahar Kala Kendra when they were showing a film. I got the number, but somehow was unable to reach anyone after that to hear about additional events. They office used to be open only during certain times, but now that Celine is here to manage things full time, the situation seems to be improving!

She even created their Facebook page, which I offered to help with. But helas, I couldn’t find the page on my own–it seems they have a branding confusion between “Alliance Francaise of (Madras)”, “Alliance Francaise de (Jaipur)”, and even without any preposition (Alliance Francaise San Jose). It seems I may be nit-picking, but it is important to be able to find the information one is looking for, and to maintain consistency, n’est-ce pas? That’s how Google has built it’s empire… The Alliance Francaise in India website is also in dire need of a makeover.

Pourtant, I am thrilled to have reconnected with my French pseudo roots! Tonight I’m going to see a movie at the AF center. It seems there are many French expats in Jaipur–if I can’t be in France, I might as well pretend I am by being with French people and speaking French Do I really still need to learn Hindi…?

How appropriate that my Jewish mother sent me this. I thought it was hilarious & timely, since I’m coming to terms with certain issues related to the theme of kvetching.

I checked out her son’s article in HuffPost, Frame It With Gratitude:

“One way to describe your experience would be to say, ‘This is so annoying I could scream!’ Or you could say, ‘This is so annoying … and my life is really very blessed.’ ” She agreed that could make a big difference.

“But I don’t think I can remember to do that,” she sighed.

To my delight and amazement, my mother has continued doing the practice, and the change has been revolutionary. Seven months after my visit, she sent a card for my birthday. As is our family tradition, it contained a poem she wrote for the occasion. This one I especially cherish. Even though she started losing her sight during those months, the effects of her gratitude practice are evident in this poignant excerpt. And it goes to show you that you can teach an elder human new tricks!

Ninety is just fine with me, I no longer rant and rave
About where the world is heading and my exclusive job to save.
I wallow in contentment and know that I am blessed
Awakening to the joy of living at its best.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been and truly mean each word.
The thoughts that caused the worries now all seem so absurd.
Though my eyesight has been dimmed I see clearer than before,
The glass is not half empty, it’s overflowing to be sure.

Why is it that we have to complain or criticize about what’s there? Even if you want to improve something, surely there are more effective ways of going about it.

Not all of Jaipur looks like this...

Recently, I keep starting out my posts with numbers. Perhaps it helps me to establish the landmarks, to measure my success on this uncharted path. For me, these three years are the longest ever time that I’ve been settled in one place since I graduated from high school in 1999. I’m discounting the four years of college because I moved a lot from year to year.

True, I haven’t been in Jaipur for three years straight, either. I have left for at least 2 months every year to visit family, and last year I was hardly home since I spent almost half the time at the ashram or travelling. It’s probably the only way I could’ve survived.

Nonetheless, three years with my stuff in the same apartment, with or without me. Three years of having Jaipur as home base, ready for me when I return. Three year of having pigeons as my closest neighbors.

It was in April 2007 that we came here. I want to be able to say something very insightful about my experience here, a neatly packaged byte of wisdom. But in my stupor of disbelief that I’ve made it here this long, I’m struggling to make much out of it.

Actually, perhaps the real motivating force behind writing this post, behind even the realization itself that I have been here for that long, is that we are most probably leaving Jaipur. I hesitate to give more details because that deserves its own post. But the impending departure certainly has made me recognize how settled I’ve become here, and dare I say it? Attached.

To be honest, I can’t think of things off the top of my head that I particularly like about this place, but to do Jaipur some justice, I will put some effort in and make a list:

1. Central Park
2. seeing Nahargarh Fort from my window

Ok, the list idea is pointless. It’s sounding horribly negative, which has nothing to do with Jaipur in itself–it’s more to do with my own perspective and judgements.

While now I can say that I’m in a positive frame of mind, much of my time here has not been spent in that way. Furthermore, I can say that I’ve come to terms with my previous negativity, and have reached more of a state of acceptance of life, of being here, all the pros and cons included. It’s been a sacrifice, but has held certain advantages. They’ve pretty much cancelled each other out.

Pros include low cost of living, nice apartment, being close to in-laws, being close to Delhi. Cons: difficulty in going out (weather & logistics combined), weather, lack of social circle, weather, being close to in-laws, weather…

Dear Jaipur, you’re too hot and I can’t think properly. You’ve made life difficult for me, but I forgive you.

It took a long time for me to process that culture shock–perhaps I am still–but one thing I know is this: The conversation is dynamic between an individual and her environment and just as it would be absolutely absurd to respond in a conversation with your friend with the same one line, it is absurd to respond to life experiences with the same old line. To be engaged in this narrative with others, our environment, our religions…requires creativity, expression, and risk. This is what I think. What about you?

Life can be so contradictory, whenever we form fixed opinions it has a way of proving us wrong, if we’re open to it. Otherwise we remain stuck and suffer.

What is required?

Fluidity. If you try to cling to your old beliefs and habits, you will end up missing all that the new place has to offer. You will close yourself to any possibilities of exploration. You will become lost in translation as you search for a meaning which computes with your preconceived notions.

Willingness to laugh at yourself. To look deeply and acknowledge that so much about you is unconsiously shaped by where you have grown up.

Listening, openness. Even if you don’t understand the what or why, acknowledging the universal humanity in others.

Appreciating the diversity of experiences. Humility in seeing that there are many rights and wrongs as shaped by place and time.

This thing we call life can be so complicated! Or so simple.

I’ve been feeling a bit nostaligic for France, and this video popped up as I was searching for French films. It offers some seemingly frivolous insights, which are actually at the heart of cultural differences between Americans, French, and whoever else.

For example, Mireille‘s observation that American women don’t drink water (because they’re probably too busy drinking diet Coke!), or don’t taste a banana if they’re eating it because they would be multi-tasking. That we don’t like to cook!

And that we should have many small pleasures throughout the day.

What impressed me so much about French culture was their apparently  innate ability to enjoy the small things in life. Sometimes the slow attitude would frustrate me; if I had to get groceries during the 12-2pm lunch shutdown, or on Sunday. But mostly I was in awe.

The movie Amelie was an eye-opener in this regard, when I watched it in 2001. It was so inspiring that I eventually stole her haircut (in an attempt to be as inspiring as the character?).

Often people mistake me for being French. I don’t know how they got that idea in their head, but it makes me laugh. Maybe somewhere they caught a snippet of the story that I lived in France, and made an assumption…?

To conclude this rambling and disorganized post, I will say that a lot of French people like visiting India. Could be because things are rather slow-moving, yet culturally intruiging. Let’s leave the last word to Amelie:

[youtube aip3836VtZ0]

Determined to find their own expression, women in Jaipur are increasingly taking up writing as a serious pursuit. Despite cultural challenges and family responsibilities, they are living their passion as successful authors. Today, most of them have to their credit, several books on intriguing subjects and are fast impacting the national literary arena. Busy penning some new tomes, these spirited multitaskers have broken stereotypes and proved that women writers are no more anomalies in Rajasthan.

Tripti Pandey, a journalist, says

“Being a woman, I am blessed with an innate sensitivity that helps me reflect on the nuances of the places that I visit. Village women unveil their faces while interacting with me, share bits of their lives without any inhibitions and happily pose for my camera.”

Lecturer Aradhana Singh says

“Writing gives a woman the strength to break free from cultural bondages. An opinionated woman, however unwelcome she may be, has the power to alter the power equation of a society. I wish more and more woman in my state take up writing and experience the mental liberation it brings.”

Corporate executive Shivali Singh says

“Writing buoys up the self esteem of a woman. I am confident that women in the state will achieve greater heights if they keep on striding towards their goal.”