Becky Blab

I turned 30 on Monday. While I used to wonder why people felt shy about announcing their age, I think I’m beginning to understand. As I approached this milestone last week, I began to feel more like I was marching to the grave than I ever have before. It wasn’t necessarily scary, but it made me re-evaluate all of the expectations I had held of myself. Like, “When I’m 30, I will have accomplished xyz. My life will be settled and I will be a boring adult.” For better or worse, I haven’t quite managed to achieve most of that.

This summer my aunt said to me, “You’re almost 30. You should know how to clean a shower curtain.” Funnily enough, I missed that lesson in the manual of life.

Most days, I still feel like an ignorant kid. But when I was younger, I had more confidence. I was sure I’d amount to something great, like a famous politician. But once college came around, so did the questioning of many systems, including the political and legal ones, as well as society, ideology, gender… In short, I became confused. Which I have remained to this day.

If that means I still don’t know how to clean a shower curtain, then so be it. I’m busy living my life the best way I know how. And only I can live it!

“The Tale of Murasaki” by Liza Dalby is an historical fiction novel based on a real Japanese writer, Lady Murasaki, who wrote the most popular book in Japanese literature. She was also a prolific poet and diary writer, and the book is based extensively on these real works.

She was the daughter of a prominent scholar, and so well-educated that she was pretty much deemed unmarriable. This didn’t bother her, because she had such a mind of her own that she didn’t even want to get married. She did marry though, albeit later in life, and she had quite a career in court serving with the Empress. Despite the prestige, she found the lifestyle superficial and stifling, and once her daughter was old enough to be well-settled in court, Murasaki chose to live a spiritual life near a monastery.

I found this account so touching that I felt as though I were there. The details of daily life were portrayed with the utmost attention; the colors of fabrics and flowers played a prominent role in the book. I suppose I have come to view melancholy as a purely modern affliction, but it’s obvious through her poems that, even in the 11th century, Murasaki experienced profound sadness. That time period must have also been the height of Buddhism’s spread in Japan, and turning to spiritual life was common, if not the norm. Yet it is no coincidence that Buddhism is seeing a resurgence now. People are becoming ever increasingly disillusioned with the world, and seeking answers to the pesky questions that our culture cannot seem to answer with to any satisfaction.

I’ve been helping WiserEarth with some blog posts as they are in their annual fundraising period. I have discovered lots of interesting work that their members are doing all around the world. It’s been quite inspiring for me! Please check out the posts below.

Permaculture flourishing in the Amazon:

“I saw poverty all my life” Carla tells me. Carla Noain Park comes from a city called Iquitos in Peru located on the Amazon river where she once studied to be a teacher. “I always wanted to help my people” she tells me. However, it wasn’t until she married her husband and moved to the US, that this dream became a reality.

When anthropology and film making brings cultural understanding to your village:

“I don’t believe in giving people a voice as people already have a voice. I believe in giving them a microphone to tell their story” says Martha M. Foster the founder, President and CEO of Living Earth Television and member of WiserEarth.org. A lifelong documentary curator and anthropologist, Martha’s work focuses on helping people understand each other across cultural borders.

Climate change activist focuses on empowering others in Zambia

“My ambition is to empower the local community. When we empower people, they are more likely to want to create their own businesses. It is only when we do this that they will start to take care of the environment around them.” ~Auldridge Chibbwalu 

It’s OK to be against growth!

Dave Gardner is the producer of GrowthBusters, a controversial new film which seeks to de-bunk the myth that growth leads to progress. “I am suggesting that there may be another way of living. True sustainability is progress, yet many people believe that limits to growth go against progress. I am embracing the end of growth,” he says.

This time of year naturally lends itself to reflection: shorter, colder, darker days; falling leaves; annual holidays and approaching winter wonderland. It has now been six months since we left India, and it is hard to believe. Here are six observations or lessons that I have learned in this time.

1. There’s no going back.  While I had secretly hoped the transition would be smooth and I’d jump back into the mainstream (was I ever even there?), that obviously hasn’t been the case. Even though part of me resisted returning for so long, somehow I thought that I’d resume being my old self once back in familiar territory. A lot has changed in that space of nearly eight years that I was living abroad. It’s more than just that my horizons have broadened; my perspective on life has been dramatically altered. I naively thought I might be able to pick up right where I left off when I’d left the US. I’m more aware of aspects of my former self that haunt me and it’s like I’ve entered a perpetual time warp. I’m struck by the high schooler inside me, and the nostalgic nagging of ancient memories. It’s like a nonstop exercise in taming the “lizard brain.”

2. Nothing is normal. Although I want to get back to some normalcy and stability, I’m also starkly aware that those concepts are pretty irrelevant to my life, which refuses to conform to some standards that I’ve set for it. What is normal is relative, and depends from person to person. Yet, when living in India, I was constantly struck by things that were way too different for my personal set of likes and dislikes.

3. Bumps in the road are not just part of life, they are life. We have a very strong belief that someday, life will go smoothly and everything will be just right. Even if things do eventually work out, the process is usually messy. The more I realize this, the less I struggle against how things are now. For example, the picture below was taken in late August, when we sent off some of my husband’s documentation. We were prematurely  joyous, since there have been delays and we’re still waiting for his papers. They should be arriving soon, though.

4. Get out and meet people. When I first arrived, I was constantly running around to different meetups. This has slowed down somewhat, but it was a good way to force myself to get back out into the social scene and to hear about what was going on. I learned about a lot of interesting new projects and got inspired. I’m also looking for more sustainable, long-term means of interaction in my local neighborhood though. I recently attended a local writer’s group and am trying to help organize another meeting. Although the timing is pretty bad I’m still interested in the community garden which I totally spaced on during the warmer months.

5. Stay in and hibernate. In this city of bright lights, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the hustle bustle and huge skyscrapers towering overhead. I actually overheard a tourist in a restaurant bathroom say that she felt nauseated by the constant, overstimulating sensory onslaught. Yes, it can be exhilarating and thrilling, but also tiring after a time. Everything in moderation: it’s good to be out, but so is having quiet time at home, too.

6. Laugh and love. Partially because I was running out of ideas, and because I badly need the reminder! When it all begins to feel overwhelming, it’s a good sign that I’m taking things too seriously. Some hugs and some laughs are the perfect antidote. Trite, but true.

On Saturday I watched the above National Geographic show on The Human Family Tree. I was pleasantly amused to see it was based in my diverse neighborhood of Queens: Astoria. If you ever need a reminder of how we are all one, you should definitely watch it!

Seeing the progression of human migrations in the video, I was reminded how humans have evolved as a part of a larger group and as inseparable from the environment. Now, however, we find ourselves removed from the whole in many ways and living lives devoid of meaning and purpose.

Thanks to a tweet I came across about the idea of “data smog” leading to depression, I’ve also just started reading Spontaneous Happiness by Dr Weil, and was struck by his main idea that modern lifestyles are the leading cause of depression. It may not be his unique idea, nor anything new, but it helps to remind ourselves how foreign our lives are to the way we have evolved over thousands of years.

He says, “Our lives in the developed world have largely gone from hard and generally content to easy and often depressed.” He also delves into the flaws of the existing biomedical model of mental health, and how pharmaceutical companies basically created a market for themselves. I find it really interesting & hope to share more as I go through it…

Funnily enough, I also happen to like sci-fi and technology so also watched a documentary called “Transcendent Man” about an inventor, Ray Kurzweil, who has many crazy predictions about the future of artificial intelligence and human evolution. Given our tricky relationship with technology, though, I disagree that things will proceed as smoothly as he claims, where we will become infused with bots to keep us healthy and immortal.

One interesting point raised in the film that I would be more likely to agree with is that there will be a group of humans who will worship technology, specifically the god-like artificial intelligence which will be much smarter than us. The problem I foresee is that intelligence is much more complicated than simple logic; the idea of emotional intelligence is gaining traction. But what about other, traditional wisdom that isn’t currently recognized by the mainstream?

Yes, I’ve been taking advantage of Netflix streaming: I also recently watched the Steven Hawking “Into the Universe” series, and the Star Wars movie!