Becky Blab

I feel a sick pleasure that this old woman, Bachan Athwal, who ordered her daughter-in-law Surjit to be killed, has been sentenced. (So has her son, who has gotten a longer sentence.) She had openly bragged to relatives about the crime but it took years for them to muster the courage and out the evidence. I suppose I should be thankful that they did so at all, but it still makes me angry that it was so difficult for them to rat her out for such an abominable act. And Surjit’s crime? She had an affair and asked for a divorce.

This all sadly brings to light the issue that often the perpetrators of violence against women are women themselves. It also illustrates a problem that feminism has been struggling with for years–that there is no automatic loyalty to other women, no innate ’sisterhood’. Women’s own ingrained attitudes and beliefs may pose just as much of an obstacle to equality as those of men. But this post at Ultra Violet about gender discrimination in India gives us a crucial reminder:

It is untrue that ‘women are women’s worst enemies’; after all, a system of patriarchy which privileges male ownership and control over assets, opportunities and values can be abused by and be abusive of, both men and women, though to varying degrees. Would a mother-in-law who has freedom, mobility and self-confidence as a human being — not just as a ‘mother’ or a ‘wife’ — oppress her daughter-in-law? Does every man want to be a police officer? What if he wants to be a Bharatanatyam dancer?

Or, as Angel A says,

Many of us say that women are biggest enemy of women. Isn’t it because of low self esteem and that’s how we have been taught?