Here’s an interview with two Indian women — a sixty-two-year-old politician and a twenty-two-year-old musician — who are inspired by the freedom American women enjoy but are wary of becoming too much like them. This is a great piece which shows how both women have respect for ‘Western’ ways but also show a typical Indian skepticism of them too. Issues that I struggle with personally on a daily basis!
However, in my own brain debates, the two sides perhaps take the shape more of ‘modernity’ vs. ‘tradition’ in the sense that so-called modern life in the West has left many alienated and experiencing ‘anomie,’ the breakdown of traditional support networks etc. Although some sociologists proclaim that the internet has been filling this void, I’m not so sure there’s any substitute for actual face-to-face contact.
In India, there is more family ‘connection’ as this interviewee, Sukanya, says–which can be both a blessing and a curse. Let’s not be naive. Sometimes such connection can be overbearing and invasive at best and stifling of personal growth at worst. But despite these drawbacks, it’s sure that whenever you may find yourself in need of help, someone (from your family) will be there.
Of course in the West we have support networks based on social ties like work, activities etc and some may argue that these are in fact better; as the adage goes, ‘You can choose your friends but not your family.’ But sometimes when you’re so busy with work etc. those relationships tend to suffer.
However, I wouldn’t agree with the portrayal that ‘women leave their families entirely’ and ‘change their husbands like saris [Indian garments]‘ but Indian women, ‘are different and try to change their husbands over time…to stop them from torturing us’. Firstly, there is still a huge stigma here around divorce, largely based on this idea that the couple–but, note, the duty falls mainly with the wife–should work out the problems. And what is the actual percentage of women who leave the children in the father’s care as opposed to vice versa? Lastly, while the life expectancy may be longer in the US than India, why should women have to suffer in the hopes that their husbands may change?
I could go on, this debate is never-ending, perhaps as old as time itself–or at least since ‘us’ and ‘them’ were born.
