The front page of the Sunday Times Life section, always highlighting recent social trends, featured an article entitled ‘It’s Sweeter Solo‘ on the increasing acceptability in Indian society of being on one’s own. It painted solitude as rewarding, instead of being the stereotypical domain of singletons and crazies.
The article features mainly quotes from random people, but many of whom are women, which I liked, since women here are typically depicted as dependent and duty-bound to serving others.
“Now more people are flocking to different places at an impressionable age to study or work, which has given a whole new definition to the concept of happy loners,” says creative entrepreneur Preeti Vyas Patel.
Successful online art dealer Aporajita Pal Mukerji has been living on her own for at least 20 days a month for the past 13 years. Her husband, a marketing professional, is out of town for the most part. But she wouldn’t barter it for anything else. “I love the time I have to myself. I work out, read books, connect with my friends… I know couples who have separate bedrooms and bathrooms too,” says Mukerji.
Actress Neena Gupta explains “financial empowerment is walking the talk when it comes to enjoying the option of living alone.” Those who’ve caught on to the expensive ways of the city, have wisely invested in suburban apartments.
Spiritual teacher Neena Dandekar points out that “the urge to find one’s little nest is seen even among today’s teenagers. It’s easier to do away with the curfews parents impose.”
Even senior citizens like Arati Gupta, who has the option of moving in with her son and daughter-in-law, prefers to live alone in Delhi. “I share a beautiful relationship with my family, but I prefer my me-time. I gave up a high-profile job to enjoy things one talks of doing someday. Three years later, I have yet to ask myself if I’ve felt lonely. I live by the motto — ‘Enjoy life, employ life, it flits away and will not stay’. I plan my activities such that each action is satisfying. I travel to my ‘wish-list places’. I enjoy being with my grand-daughter. At home, I’m comfortable with my music, books, internet, friends and above all, my fitness routine.”
The Loner lives in her own space. Alone, but no longer lonely. She has found her own space, her calling, her self.
In such a crowded place as India, personal space comes at a premium. While people here may continue to love their masala (daily drama), the dynamics of economic growth bring changes in interpersonal relationships.
